Marriage: A New Found Perspective
Is marriage everything it is cracked
up to be? There is a white picket fence, the lawn is cut perfectly, and the
trash always makes it out to the curb, so why are some people miserable? These
are complex questions. It is not as easy as making sure the house is tidy and
the lawn is mowed. Marriage takes work, chemistry, patience, and a ton of
dedication just to name a few of the necessary components. Please read this
essay with the understanding that the author is not married, nor will be soon.
Past relationships that went south, college roommates that could cause anyone
to think twice before moving in with a partner, let alone marry them, and
self-discovery that can be revelatory in how ready someone is for marriage are
all life experiences that help create a more realistic perspective on the
subject.
Marriage simply put is someone
choosing to spend the rest of their life with another person, whether bound by
contract, through a spiritual ceremony, or just through professed agreement.
The rest of their life….as in forever….with that other person. Someone that may
or may not snore so loud they break ear drums. Someone that although full of love
and good qualities is insane. Someone that may or may not ever do the dishes or
chores around the house. Ooo, that is frightening. Most marriages have little
over a fifty percent chance of success. However, it is possible to decrease
that number. Decide to take the plunge and experience something different, live
with roommates.
Oh, roommates. They give a
completely new perspective to cohabitation. They can teach a person so many
lessons. They help a person learn things about themselves they never knew,
buttons they never knew they had. Living with other people can be difficult. It
is a life experience that will help people grow and develop understanding and
patience. Rushing headlong into a marriage with the idea of playing house is
not a safe mentality. More than likely there will be things that two people
living together do not like about one another. Taking the time to view the
world from another person’s perspective is not only beneficial to a lasting
relationship, it is a necessity. When someone lives with another person that
they do not love they are able to develop an unbiased view which is unique and
eye opening, and will influence future decisions regarding relationships
immensely, hopefully positively.
Another type of life experience that
can help people grow and gain perspective on marriage is romantic
relationships, past and present. Romantic relationships teach people things
about intimacy and the effort required to maintain intimacy. Imagine if that
intimacy is difficult when a person has their own space. How difficult will it
be when they discover their partner uses the last bit of shampoo and never
replaces it with a new bottle, causing them to walk around dripping wet to find
a new bottle? Or uses one person’s towel to dry off when the other person’s
towel is in plain sight? The point is not that relationships are bad, just that
they require some perspective and understanding. Hopefully, by the time two
people decide to move in with one another they have developed a chemistry that
allows for good communication and humor. If there is one thing someone should
learn about living with another person, especially in marriage, is to laugh.
Marriage
is not a bad notion and it is not the wrong decision. Marriage is difficult, a
challenge, and something to seriously reflect on. “What kind of people do I get
along with?” “How do I handle hard situations?” “What aspects of my life can I
change and what aspects of it do I consider immovable?” These are all questions
someone should ask themselves now, before they are on the road to marriage. The
reader should ask themselves these questions and take the time on their own to
discover the answers. Marriage should be something wonderful and can be with
the right chemistry, understanding, and dedication.
